But what about the big things? The things that we don't give much of our attention to and we tend to take for granted. What happens when we are blindsided and required to face something that can break us physically, mentally, spiritually, or all of the above? What about when gratitude calls upon us to be brave? This year, more than any other year, I am grateful for the big things: my life, my attitude, true love, and courage I didn't know I had.
2018 was not my best year, it was actually the most challenging year I have ever faced. 2018 tried to break me, and it came close:
- I struggled with the Empty Nest transition, I'm still figuring out my new normal.
- I had a skiing accident - broke my right arm and shoulder. This immobilized me for weeks, left me with a torn rotator cuff, and a silent injury to my liver that placed me in critical condition in the hospital and at death's door.
- Because of my poor health, I had to close C9SC in the Spring, uncertain if I'd ever be well enough again to re-open.
- My best friend since high school was diagnosed with breast cancer.
- My sweet fur baby, Max, fell unexpectedly ill and died on July 10th.
I will walk away from 2018 not stronger, the cliche doesn't fit my situation or mood, I will just walk away. I am closing this door. I will reflect upon 2018 as the year that I learned:
- how very fragile life is
- how powerful fear is
- how humbling it is to have to rely on loved ones and strangers to meet my most basic needs
- how easy it is to slip into despair, and how tough it is to drag myself out
- how chronic pain changes the very essence of a person
- how scary it is to know death came calling
Gratitude this year called upon me to show up and be brave. And for my attitude of gratitude thoughout this year despite all the scary things, I am the most grateful. I made it. 2018 kicked my ass, it did, but it did not break my spirit.
Life is good. I am blessed. I am grateful.