This question comes from my customer, Lynne F., "How do you find love and patience in steaming situations?"
I'd like to tell you, Lynne, that I just grin and bear it, turn the other cheek or ignore it, but the truth is that unless it's something or someone I love, I have no patience. And even when it is something or someone I love, I have to really work at letting steam roll off of me. I have had to learn how to handle conflict, which is a given in today's world, and not a strength that I posses.
In my business, I tend to personalize things that I should not and I suppose this is the fall-out of being a small business owner with a degree in nursing, rather than a business degree. I am self-taught. But in these situations I must work even harder at being objective and not being reactionary.
So here's what I have trained myself to do when I am steamed - I walk away. When I do not know what to do, I do nothing. I find that most of the time, if I let the moment (or hour) pass, the answer will become clear to me. A lot of the times I conclude that the situation or person who has pissed me off, is just not that big of a deal and I let it slide.
Sometimes I make a list of pros and cons and force myself to make a move based on the greater good.
Here is something that really, really helps me. If I am steamed or super stressed, I physically remove myself from the situation. This might mean I just go to the bathroom so I can be alone. I close my eyes and I take deep breaths. As I breathe in through my nose, I say to myself "let" and as I breathe out through my lips, I say to myself "go". I repeat this over and over until my heart rate slows and the crisis I am feeling passes. Let. Go. It really does work. I then can face an issue with a level head and not shoot the mosquito with a shotgun.